Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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