just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
