I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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