GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
