piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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