dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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