Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
