Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
