We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
