i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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