I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
