new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We need to rekindle our bromance
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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