so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
