someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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