She said her name was "party"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
People with herpes should wear stickers.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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