i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
