that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
