If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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