i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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