everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
