If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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