Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
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