so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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