saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
