How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Randomize
