The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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