Welp...herpes.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
