theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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