my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I AM VODKA MAN
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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