I never want to see another naked old woman again.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
