The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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