Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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