Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
