I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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