She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I am available for nakedness
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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