i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize