Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
