I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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