So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
