i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
