just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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