youre lurking in front of me
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
