Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
