i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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