She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
