We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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