He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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