I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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