Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think im going to throw up on grandma
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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