Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Be still, my beating vagina.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
