hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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