You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
