hotel room ftw
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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