I'm gonna have a badass scar
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just want to make out with him forever
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
