So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
