I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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