I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out mid-signature
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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