I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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