i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
