there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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